Our Dog Wouldn’t Stop Barking at the Thanksgiving Turkey — When I Finally Checked It, I Called the Police
My name is Athena, 32. Thanksgiving morning was chaos. My husband Kyle had offered to pick up the turkey while I juggled side dishes and desserts. “I’ll be back soon!” he said cheerfully as he headed out.

He returned an hour later, turkey in hand but looking frazzled. “Took longer than I thought. Had to hit three places and help Mom with something. Everything’s fine,” he assured me, then sighed as his phone buzzed. “Great. Mom’s car broke down. Gotta go help her.” Before I could respond, he was out the door again. The whole thing was VERY weird — Kyle was never this distracted.

Then Max, our dog, started barking. Not his usual Thanksgiving excitement hoping for scraps to hit the floor — this was sharp and insistent. He fixated on the turkey, pacing and jumping at the counter.

“Max, stop it!” I scolded, but he didn’t. After twenty minutes, I gave in. “Fine, let’s see what’s so interesting.”

I grabbed a knife to open the wrapping. The moment I touched it, Max went wild. My hands shook as I peeled back the plastic — and froze. The next moment, I called the police.

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Though I felt awful that I was possibly interrupting their Thanksgiving, I had to be safe.

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Officer Johnson, a veteran, was the first to walk inside. He was quickly followed by Officer Miller, a younger, wide-eyed rookie who seemed overwhelmed before he even stepped into my kitchen.

“Ma’am, can you show us what you found?” Officer Johnson asked, cool as a cucumber.

I led them to the turkey, still sitting on the counter, with the cash-filled bag right next to it. “I… I don’t even know what to say,” I admitted.

“That’s… uh, that’s a lot of money,” Officer Miller said.

“Yeah, thanks, Officer Obvious,” Officer Johnson muttered under his breath before turning back to me. “Where did you get this turkey?”

“My husband picked it up this morning from our butcher shop, just like every year,” I said. “He’s not home right now. He went to help his mom with something.”

Officer Johnson raised an eyebrow. “Convenient.”

At that point, the front door opened, and Kyle came in with his mom, Ruth, in tow. His face blanched when he saw the police in our kitchen.

“Uh… what’s going on?” Kyle asked, clearing his throat.

“That’s what we’d like to know,” Officer Johnson said.

I pointed to the counter. “Kyle, there was a bag of cash inside our turkey! Did you know? Is there something going on?”

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Kyle’s eyes popped open, but he stayed quiet.

“Look, son. We need to know the truth because this is one of the oddest sm-uggling cases I’ve ever seen,” Officer Johnson warned Kyle.

Suddenly, Ruth nudged Kyle roughly. “Okay, okay!” he spoke up at last. “It’s mine. The money’s mine.”

“What? Why would you put it inside a turkey?” I asked.

“I was trying to surprise you, Athena,” Kyle sighed heavily.
“I cashed out my savings yesterday to book us a trip to Hawaii. But I left the money in my car and only remembered after I picked up the turkey today. I didn’t want you to discover the surprise early, so… I hid the cash in the turkey. It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“That’s…” I had no words.

Ruth chimed in. “I can confirm that he’s telling the truth, Ace. He told me he had finally reached his goal for the trip and cashed out his account. But he didn’t tell me he stuffed the money in the turkey!”

She looked at her son pointedly and gave him another nudge. This one was rougher.

“Kyle! What would you have done if I put the turkey in the oven without noticing the money? Remember, I’m cooking here!”, I said.

Kyle scratched the back of his head. “I didn’t think of that,” he muttered, sheepish.

I was shocked, but the tension of his insanity was broken when Officer Johnson laughed loudly.

“Son, I’ve seen a lot of things, but hiding money in poultry? That’s a first,” he wheezed between chuckles.

Officer Miller looked at his superior and then at the turkey before asking, “Uh, should we… dust it for fingerprints?”

“I have the withdrawal receipt,” Kyle revealed, reaching into his pocket. Finally! He was doing something smart!

Officer Johnson checked that the amount in the bag coincided with the receipt.

Both officers left afterward, still finding the whole thing amusing.
I covered my face in mortification. Then I turned to my husband, frustrated. “Kyle! That was so embarrassing. You sounded insane!”

“Stupid is more like it,” Ruth said, settling on the couch.

He hunched his shoulders. “I panicked! I wanted to keep it a surprise, and, the turkey was right there.”

“It could’ve caught fire in the oven,” I said. What if the whole house had burned down all because of this cash? What if Max hadn’t barked at it? What if I had ignored it? And also, did I marry an idiot?

Kyle was goofy, and it always seemed like he was rushing or running late. He could be clumsy and forgetful. But this incident truly took the cake.

“Honestly, Kyle,” Ruth added. “You’re lucky if Athena doesn’t divorce you after this.”

Kyle looked at me with puppy-dog eyes. But I was immune to that look.

“You’re unbelievable,” I whispered, shaking my head and smiling despite myself. “But I guess your heart was in the right place.”

Kyle gave me a toothy smile, and we moved on from that incident.

Later that night, we had a memorable Thanksgiving while telling the rest of the family what Kyle had done.

Our hero Max got extra turkey scraps for his efforts, and my husband had to endure the playful teasing from his relatives.

Later, we went on that trip to Hawaii. That’s where we conceived our son, and I’m looking forward to telling him that he was born because his father stuffed a turkey with money.

But I’ll have to wait several years for that. Anyway, folks, listen to your dogs! Sometimes, they’re not just looking for treats! Happy Thanksgiving!