Am I looking fat?

This is funny

Wife : Am I looking fat?

Husband : Yes

Wife : Shut up. Don’t you ever dare talk to me!!

Wife : Am I looking fat?

Husband : No

Wife : Liar

Wife : Am I looking fat?

Husband : Maybe

Wife : can u ever b decisive

Wife : Am I looking fat?

Husband : I don’t know

Wife : Are you blind?

Wife : Am I looking fat?

Husband : Depends

Wife : Oh you comparing me with some one else..

Wife : Am I looking fat?

Husband : silence

Wife : Are you deaf?

There are some questions for which there is no correct answer.
For everything else there is Google …

Husband to Wife:

Tomorrow is your birthday. What gift would you like ?

Wife: A Giraffe !

Husband: Darling, please be reasonable. Where do I get a giraffe from? Ask for something that is possible for me.

Wife: Ok, then give up drinking. That you can do and I’ll accept it as a good gift.

So next day……

Husband: Here Is The Giraffe.

H – “Hello?”

W – “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

H – “Yes.”

W – “Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It’s absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?”

H – “What’s the price?”

W – “Only $1,500.00.”

H – “Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much…”

W – “Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price…and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year…”

H-“What price did he quote you?”

W – “Only $60,000…”

H – “OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options.”

W – “Great! But before we hang up, something else…”

H – “What?”

W – “It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and…I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It’s on sale!!

Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, an acre of park area, beachfront property.”

H – “How much are they asking?”

W – “Only $450,000 – a magnificent price…and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover…”

H – “Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?”

W – “OK, sweetie…Thanks! I’ll see you later!! I love you!!!”

H – “Bye…I love u too…”

The man hangs up, closes the phone’s flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present:

“Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?”